The kids were so well behaved today, but Mom had an off day. We were productive, the kids all woke up happy we genuinely had a very good day, but my hormones drove my body. Luckily, the kids seem like they are almost in tune with my needs and know when Mom needs a bit of slack and it’s so impressive to me. They can sense when the house needs Mom and when some days she has to sacrifice herself to the house. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just another day.
Isabelle, my six year old has had a transition. She is just different. Older. More aware of her surroundings, her language has changed, she is more understanding. I realize this comes naturally with growth and change, but very much accepted. I hope I am doing better at listening, because that has been a goal of mine. To be patient, understand that when she is frustrated she is just trying to communicate and giving her that allowance to be communicative of her current need. Don’t get me wrong the kids are a handful, but something just feels shifted.
We sat at dinner and Izzy was motherly towards the younger two and proud of herself for it. She knew I was a time where I just wanted to enjoy a hot meal which is like a reward for me and was just supportive of the house. She got up and got Nash milk when he asked and sat right back down. I am enjoying this stage where after many years of sleepless nights, the kids are getting a little bit older, a bit more independent. I know I should chew on those words, but Mom is tired.
I truly enjoy my kids and I am proud to be able to say that, but some days I just want to do too many things and feel like time is running out. I have to key myself in, and remind myself to be present in a day and that almost shifts a hormonal imbalance into my veins. Momma feels are real and with the ups and downs and the sacrifices to the house, we question our worth and what we could have done to make this day better as soon as the kids eyes close for the night. We all do it. Maybe not everyday. But our hearts are in this.
XOXO,